"Q-Tips. Here's some Q-Tips: Queefs are bad."
- Andy Bennett
"This is ridiculous. There's nothing but poop in here."
- Jody Kujawa
"Condoms: Catches stuff!"
- Katy Helbacka
"Is that the daughter we threw away? Look at her Antiques Roadshow price! She's worth a fortune!"
- Jake Neuman
"You got pee blood all over my Pope shoes!"
- Katy Helbacka
"Duck fart."
- Jake Neuman
"Women have been having periods for like 30 years. You're telling me the best science has come up with is shoving a rolled-up newspaper into your Ya-ya Sisterhood?"
- Andy Bennett