It’s been a while, and we’ve missed you. But dry your eyes, citizens of the Northland, Dink Tank returns! On Saturday, October 30th at 10:30 pm Dink Tank proudly presents their ONLY show for 2010, HECK HOUSE!
Hosted by the Devil himself, this will be Dink Tank’s first venture into serious drama (not really) about the consequences of your evil, evil (or ridiculous and silly) sins. This is really important, soul-saving stuff here (it isn’t, there will be fart jokes). Tickets are only $5. Don’t you think that’s worth sparring yourself from eternal damnation? Okay, that question was rhetorical, smart-asses.
To get you ready for our revival, here’s 10 things that you may or may not see if you come to Dink Tank’s HECK HOUSE. (Hint: Half of these things are true.)
1. Evan Kelly will portray the Devil. And he’ll portray it with one part sinister malevolence, and two parts Steve Urkel – plus a dash of Lady Gaga.
2. Jody will have his shirt off.
3. Someone will go through a very painful, very prolonged on-stage birth because of something naughty they did in church.(Hey! A rhyme! Eat that!)
4. The evening will mark the triumphant return of legendary rock group, The Monkees.
5. Katy will be forced to say dirty things she doesn’t want to say.
6. Jake will eat his weight in quarters and then turn them – via his own intestinal smelting machine – into a diorama of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
7. Hebert will debut his new musical design for Dink Tank. Say goodbye to mash-ups and hello to Oprah singing opera!
8. Evil will be vanquished and Nic Cage will be pronounced King of King Impersonators.
9. You’ll get to play the weirdest game of bingo you’ve ever played.
10. Someone’s getting kicked in the nuts.